Its been awhile...

It has been quite some time.  Lillian is so big these days! We have had Halloween and Thanksgiving since my last post. We were invited by an amazing woman, Amanda Cobb (Which by the way I plan on naming my next child after in some way.  She is seriously the most loving, sweet and fun person...ever!) to the pumpkin patch for a little party! We had a BLAST!

For Halloween day I had a costume all made up for her she was going to be a sweet little bumble bee but we decided last minute not to take her out in the chilly weather! afterall she wont even remember it!

Her last doctors appointment proved to us that our little lady is infact....little.  She is 6 months old and weighs in at 12lbs!

For Thanksgiving we always to go my nanny and papas house! We have done that every year since I was little! I love seeing everyone and laughing...when noone is fighting! :)
This was obviously Lillians first Thanksgiving and we let her try the greenbeans and pears!

Hope everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! Christmas is just around the corner!!

deep.

After watching this video I feel like writing my own "beautiful" story.

God made me, me.  He chose what color eyes I would have, my parents and my gifts.  I am reminded everyday that I look into my daughters eyes what a miracle life really is.  God gave me life, he gave me the gift of  being able to bring life into this world.  There is nothing more beautiful to me than my daughter.  She is so amazing. I am sure that is what my mom thought when she looked at me when I was 5 months old.  I was brought into this world with a purpose. God gave me the ability to smile, laugh and enjoy his blessings.

I never want Lillian to grow up and think anyone is better than her or visa versa.  I want her to treat everyone she meets with respect and love.  I want her to be strong and stand up for herself. I want her to accept the things that society says may not be beautiful. I want her to stand up for the less fortunate and stand against bullying. I want her to love everything about herself like I love everything about her.

 I may not be a  size 2 with size 6 shoes, amazing hair and perfect skin.  But to God I am the most perfect creation made.  I may not be good at sports. I may not be a genius. I may not be creative.  I may not be the best cook. I may get road rage, loose my temper and have  panic attacks. I may get migraines that ruin plans but at the end of the day, I am me.  I was created to help others, brighten someones day, and share my love.

I sleep with my feet hanging out of the covers, my head completly covered and 3 pillows.  I pop my knuckles.  I am random, clumsy, and flat out spacey.  I can not spell to save my life and a victim of gullability. My dad is an alcoholic and I am afraid to drink alcohol. I have never consumed a single drug. I suffer from anxiety. I am Sarah Elizabeth Forbus Martin and I am BEAUTIFUL.

What makes you beautiful?

.

lesson learned-prune juice.

Prune juice is terrible, horrible, nasty and sticky.  It WILL stain your whole house, your child and you.  Dont be fooled by its ability to get one's bowels moving, it is not your friend. 

it is brown like tar and sticky like malasses. 

Constipation is terrible, for anyone of any size.  But it has no place in my baby's tummy. The nurse suggested prune juice to help get things a movin. It definetly made our grandma baby poop her depends but for my habitual spitter this has by far been the messy-est ever.  Do yourself a favor and use pear juice.

other than that we are terrific! my stinker is talking up a storm as we speak and rolling from back to belly! :)

525600

525600 minutes, 8760 hours, 365 days, 1 year.

One year ago today I would have never imagined where we would be today.

3 years ago today I married my best friend.  And on our 2nd wedding anniversary we had known we were going to have a baby for 1 day.  On September 26th we found out I was pregnant.  On September 27th Jake was laid off from his job.  So in 24 hours our lives went from cloud nine to complete hell.

We went through so much in the last year its hard to grasp it all.  Starting off our second year of marriage unemployeed and expecting isn't exactly ideal.  Our home was in jeopardy, we thought that was bad until on March 18th I was put on bedrest and given the option that our precious baby girl could possibly have Trisomy 18.  Thankfully she did not. I laid in bed for 2 months counting down the days and actually looking forward to doctor appointments. It gave me so much strength knowing I could see the person I was doing all the hard work for. 

On May 14th 2011 our miracle Lillian was born due to a slight emergent c-section.  But perfect in every way nonetheless.  Thats when our luck look an awesome turn upward.  I am so happy to report on this very day one year later we are stronger and more reliant on God than we were a year ago.  He got us through some tough months and showed us that even though we were scared He knew all along that we would be just fine. 

I am so blessed to be in this crazy battle of life with Jake.  He is without a doubt my soulmate.


And our home is still ours. 

Looking forward to what this next year brings us I am sure it will be lots of first for lily and some amazing laughs.

This ones to you God bc you made it all possible!

"This is the wiggliest baby I have ever measured"

Lillian had her 4 month well check yesterday..and the nurse thought she was one active babe.

She moved around so much that we aren't completely positive on her length but it appeared to be about 22 inches! When Lillian arrived in the world she was 18.5 inches. Cannot believe how much she has grown in 4 months!

The weight on her growth chart says 11.5lbs however I am almost positive the scale said 10lbs 8oz...but then again I am not really sure if I am coming or going most days.

All in all she is one perfect baby! I am so blessed.  The doctor told us to go ahead and start solids any time we wanted.  And well I have been dying to use my baby bullet!

First on the menu...GREEN PEAS!

overall we wore more than we ate...but it was a success for the first time!

I have decided to make all of her food. For me it is a personal opinion but I am just really not fond of the store bought baby food.  There is no right or wrong way, this is just my personal preference.  I am so thankful for my best friend for purchasing  the baby bullet for my birthday! Here is my first try at it!

This would be 9 "jars" of baby food it took me only 15 mins from start to finish to make this.  That 15 minutes includes the 7 it took to steam the peas.

I am very pleased with how well it turned out!

I thought this was supposed to get easier.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss Lillian during the day. It has been even harder than when I first went back to work. I think it is because she is interacting so much now and I don't want to miss ANYTHING!!! She is my world. She is my heart. She is a piece of me that is detached and away from me a good portion of the day. I sleep for 8 hours, work for 9 hours and spend about 3 to 4 hours with Lillian. That is so out of whack. At the same time I want so much for lily. I want her to grow up in this house and that would not be possible if we didnt have two incomes. I physically hurt because I miss my child so much.

Lillian,
You are my everything. You and daddy are the very best things that have ever happened to me. I count my blessing every night and you my love are at the top. You are the perfect combination of daddy and I. You are perfect and God made you so beautiful. I pray for you everyday. I am so blessed God made ME YOUR mommmy. I'm a lucky gal.

Love you to the moon and back angel

Mommy

Lillian's birth story...from what I can remember

On Friday May 13th I had an appointment with Dr. Lattimore to check on Lily and see if we were for sure going to induce on the 16th at 37 weeks due to IUGR.  Dr.L sent me to the high risk office for an amnio to check lung maturity.  During the amnio they discovered Lily had already pooped in there.  They decided to send me straight to the hospital for induction instead of waiting until Monday because they were afraid she was under distress which was kind of obvious since she was concidered IUGR.  It was only my luck but that day there was something wrong with the Verizon phones in our area and I could not make calls to let anyone know.  The only way I could communicate was via Blackberry Messanger.  Thankfully my best friend had bbm  so I was able to message her, she messaged my mom who met me at the hospital and Jake who finished up at work and FLEW to the hospital.  Crazy day!

After lunch at 3pm they started cervadil and removed it at 3am the next morning! Started pitocin at 3am.  It was a long, tough road but by 2pm I had had enough and NEEDED an epidural!  I still had not dialated past a 2 by 7 and they decided it would be best to do a c-section I just wasnt dialating! It became a bit of an emergency when I spiked a fever and Lillian and my heart beats were way high.  When they called it I FREAKED out.  I tried to escape that bed even though I could not feel my legs.  I was a mess!

They moment Lillian Elizabeth entered the world was the most amazing moment of my whole life.  She was my daughter that I had fought so hard to keep safe and prayed non stop.  She was here!  I cried like a baby!

She is the most amazing thing and I am so blessed to be her mama!

here are a few pictures from Lillian's birth.

Daddy getting ready for Lily's debut

She is here

mommy and baby

Hunter (Godson) loving on Lillian

photo dump

my mom and lily

Lillian and her fishy

so serious

Scarlett kisses

I love you even when you're sad

my world on one couch

Lillian has an eco friendly idea...

she is demanding her diapers be disposed of in paper bags not plastic.

she looks so scared

Papa and Lily

sweetest face ever. 

whats up ma and pops?!?!this video is super boring until the last little bit

Fishies.

Lillian LOVES fishies. I really makes my heart smile. She smiles and "talks" to her "wishies" as they go across her ceiling! And today Jake, Kristen and I kept asking her if she wanted to take a bath and she smiled so big everytime we asked! So precious! I'll post more this evening with pictures of my growing babe!

My dreams for Lillian!

I think I'm pretty typical when I say I want her to be happy! I want a healthy happy babe! But I don't just want her to be happy I want her to make others happy (not in a people pleaser kind of way). I want her to brighten everyone's day that gets to be around her. I want her to care about people and their feelings. I don't want her to get caught up in the typical girl drama. I want her to care about people feelings. I want her to say please and thank you. I want her to use her brilliance to exceed. I want her to surround herself with good wholesome Godly people. I want her to know Jesus. Not just know about him. But KNOW him! I want and dream of so much for my daughter but most importantly I want her to love. I think everything else follows when you have love in your heart. I want her to love those who are less fortunate and do all she can to help them. I want her to love the ones who are very fortunate and never feel like she is less than because she doesn't have what they have and never feel envious. I want her to love animals and nature and take in all the small things in life. But most importantly i want her to love herself. I want her to take pride in everything she does. And stand for her beliefs! I don't want her to ever let a boy break her heart.

There is so much I want for my angel. I wanted her so bad for so long. And she is perfect. Daddy and I love you punkin!

Let me just say I love me some summertime. I am so blessed for Lillian to be a summer baby! She gets to wear the most adorable clothes. No socks to cover up her precious feet and sitting outside while daddy works! I'm sad to see fall coming but then again I do love me some autumn scents and burnt orange. Lillian is 11 weeks old now! Craziness! She is such a good baby. We are blessed beyond words. She has started smiling and "cooing" more and it is the most heavenly sound!! I just hope she knows what she means to me. She brightens each day and makes the extra tire around my stomach worth it! I love you sweet angel!!

honest effort

I am going to make an honest effort to update my blog at least weekly.  I want to keep my friends and family that are far and near updated on all things Martins.  My post baby weight lost, Lillian and our lives as a family of 5.

So Lillian is 10 weeks old now.  She is more amazing than I ever imagined.  I am completely in love with our daughter.  And I am even more in love with how in love Jake is with our princess.  God has blessed us in so many ways that it is hard to realize.

She is so strong.  Holds her head up so well! Starting to smile and coo and LOVES fish! She is now weighing in at 8lbs 7ozs! What a big girl! :)  I intend on making a separate post about my birth story!

I will leave you with pictures of Lily:

 Lillians first ever "tummy time"

 Lily and I Freedom Weekend Aloft 2011. Lily is 2 weeks old

My sweet family.

IUGR, bed rest, and the scare of my life.

Let me take you back to Friday March, 18th.

 Normal follow up appointment went highrisk dr bc last time i was there little Lillian was in the 15th Percentile.

J cant come due to work, so my mom comes along for support.

They do the ultrasound and I got the best picture of her smiling.  Everything was going to be ok.

I sit down with the dr afterwards and he proceeds to scare me to death.  Now Lillian is in the 3rd % and offically concidered IUGR (intrauterine growth restricted).  He had a horrible bedside manner.  He proceeds to tell us that because my fluid levels are normal and chromosone abdnormality is always a concern for IUGR babies to concider getting an amnio.  You cannot scare me the way that dr did and expect me not to say YES to the amnio.  So I get prepped while sobbing for the amnio, amnio is over he said everything went perfectly.  They hook me up to the monitors to make sure I don't start contracting, which looked amazing.  Dr comes back in and we talk alittle bit more, he tells me it will be monday when I can get the results....then he says this to me "at the end of the day, this doesnt affect me"  Que super freakout....

So for three agonizing days I have to stew over this.  And I have come to the conclusion my baby is just fine.  Sure she has IUGR and we will be meeting her sooner than expected but she has a perfect heart, kidneys, liver, smile...everything. The odds of her having T18 are so stinkin low that my 18 week screening came back negative.  She doesnt have any other "markers" for T18 other than being small. 

Today is Monday at 4:45 and they tell me today that my results will not be back until tomorrow...are you kidding me???? This is what misery feels like. 

I have such an amazing support group and people from South Carolina to Washington state praying for my little miracle.  I know everything is going to be fine, but I just need to hear "the results are negative" and I can actually relax while on bed rest.

Lillian, Hormones and saving the world

welcome to my random post!

First- Lillian.  So our sweet, precious, perfect little girl  is small.  I was sent to Dr.G (local high risk OB) about 2 weeks ago bc the regular OB (Dr.L) couldnt get a good picture of her spine because she is folded in there like a pretzal. Well after the appointment I am told she is measuring 10 days behind and in the 15th %. bummer.  I am told to eat as many cheeseburger and drink as many milk shakes as my heart desired to beefin her up!  Well fast forward a few days and I see Dr.L for my glucola...which I passed! wooohooo. He measures my belly....measured 24 weeks..baby girl should be measuring 27 weeks at the time. So I am told me keep shoveling in cheeseburgers and see them soon.  So needless to say..I have been worried about her size.  I just want her to be healthy.  She is so beautiful already!!

Second-Hormones. I have officially gotten to the point of no return..I have been crazy, irrational, hungry and snappy.  Honestly, I am alittle ashamed at the pregnant person I have become.  In the past week I have thrown a shoe at J and his friend.  I am yelled at Jake in the middle of the grocery store because I was very concerned that he was going to drop my cheese cake. I have ran a coworker into a sign at a local restaurant trying to get a better look at the amazing cakes spinning in the case as we were leaving. I have acted not very lady like. Really though, would you be chipper if you had not pooped in like 2 weeks. I think I have a few good reasons to be mean.  Speaking of reasons to be mean, my family is going to be the death of me.  My dad is an alcoholic and drug abuser, pills mostly, but he has been known to dabble in other illegal things before...shameful.  In the last week and a half, he has gone to being a bum at his girl friends house to homeless, kicked out of detox for having cigarettes and a complete disappointment to me.  My dad has always been a hero to me, and it literally shreds my heart to pieces to see this happen to such an amazing man.  I have dealt with addiction since I was born with him.  He was sober a few years of my childhood and he was the most amazing man alive, never let anyone suffer, and always did his best to help everyone who came in contact with him.  I pray every night for him to get the help he needs before it kills him...which at this rate won't be long...

Third- Saving the world.  A really great friend of mine, Courtney and  I have always shared the same passion to save the hungry, the homeless and the helpless.  Including dogs.  We share alot of interests actually. Well we are going to start making candles, selling them on etsy and ebay and using the profit to help the homeless.  I am stoked.  I cannot wait to get this rolling.  And I can not wait to see our hard work pay off eventually!

I promise it wont be this long before I write again..
tootles!

I am a blog failure.

I cannot believe I have let my blog go for this long! I am now in my 19th week and the days seem to be flying by.  So since I have blogged last we have discovered that baby M is a sweet baby GIRL! Her name is Lillian Elizabeth and I am so flippin excited to meet her THIS year.  I have not posted weekly belly pics like I said I was going to do, and for that I am ashamed.  I want more people to read my blog and my thoughts but how is that going to happen when I neglect to blog. 

We are expecting the snow storm of the century here in the south for the next couple of days...and I am alittle terrified. We stocked up on food and firewood  so hopefully we will be prepared.  J's parents live literally right up the road and they have gas so if the power goes out we will go over there and huddle by their gas logs!

Our good friends and neighbors brought home their baby boy today! He is soo stinkin handsome!  Mama and baby are doing good and I cannot wait for him and Lillian to be great friends!

On a slightly sadder note, My best friend and partner in crime, Jessica had a tough week with her baby girl (Chloe-6 months)  She had to have a cranial ultrasound that was alittle abnormal but baby girl is healthy and smiling up a storm! I absolutely love her children like they are mine.  Hunter her 2 yr old has been giving her trouble at bed time, I so isnt funny but it is at the same time.  He jumps on his bed and yells 'you are mean to me, let me up'! I mean thats pretty funny!

So Lily is a wiggle worm and a strong one at that...she was moving a kicking so much yesterday, J put his hand on my belly and she let out one good kick...and he felt it!! so amazing.

I will leave you with a few pictures:

Chloe and I at dinner the other night, we enjoyed winter squash...bleh!

Annd again with her shirt from yours truely.

This was 18 weeks! holy mama jama!