IUGR, bed rest, and the scare of my life.

Let me take you back to Friday March, 18th.

 Normal follow up appointment went highrisk dr bc last time i was there little Lillian was in the 15th Percentile.

J cant come due to work, so my mom comes along for support.

They do the ultrasound and I got the best picture of her smiling.  Everything was going to be ok.

I sit down with the dr afterwards and he proceeds to scare me to death.  Now Lillian is in the 3rd % and offically concidered IUGR (intrauterine growth restricted).  He had a horrible bedside manner.  He proceeds to tell us that because my fluid levels are normal and chromosone abdnormality is always a concern for IUGR babies to concider getting an amnio.  You cannot scare me the way that dr did and expect me not to say YES to the amnio.  So I get prepped while sobbing for the amnio, amnio is over he said everything went perfectly.  They hook me up to the monitors to make sure I don't start contracting, which looked amazing.  Dr comes back in and we talk alittle bit more, he tells me it will be monday when I can get the results....then he says this to me "at the end of the day, this doesnt affect me"  Que super freakout....

So for three agonizing days I have to stew over this.  And I have come to the conclusion my baby is just fine.  Sure she has IUGR and we will be meeting her sooner than expected but she has a perfect heart, kidneys, liver, smile...everything. The odds of her having T18 are so stinkin low that my 18 week screening came back negative.  She doesnt have any other "markers" for T18 other than being small. 

Today is Monday at 4:45 and they tell me today that my results will not be back until tomorrow...are you kidding me???? This is what misery feels like. 

I have such an amazing support group and people from South Carolina to Washington state praying for my little miracle.  I know everything is going to be fine, but I just need to hear "the results are negative" and I can actually relax while on bed rest.

Lillian, Hormones and saving the world

welcome to my random post!

First- Lillian.  So our sweet, precious, perfect little girl  is small.  I was sent to Dr.G (local high risk OB) about 2 weeks ago bc the regular OB (Dr.L) couldnt get a good picture of her spine because she is folded in there like a pretzal. Well after the appointment I am told she is measuring 10 days behind and in the 15th %. bummer.  I am told to eat as many cheeseburger and drink as many milk shakes as my heart desired to beefin her up!  Well fast forward a few days and I see Dr.L for my glucola...which I passed! wooohooo. He measures my belly....measured 24 weeks..baby girl should be measuring 27 weeks at the time. So I am told me keep shoveling in cheeseburgers and see them soon.  So needless to say..I have been worried about her size.  I just want her to be healthy.  She is so beautiful already!!

Second-Hormones. I have officially gotten to the point of no return..I have been crazy, irrational, hungry and snappy.  Honestly, I am alittle ashamed at the pregnant person I have become.  In the past week I have thrown a shoe at J and his friend.  I am yelled at Jake in the middle of the grocery store because I was very concerned that he was going to drop my cheese cake. I have ran a coworker into a sign at a local restaurant trying to get a better look at the amazing cakes spinning in the case as we were leaving. I have acted not very lady like. Really though, would you be chipper if you had not pooped in like 2 weeks. I think I have a few good reasons to be mean.  Speaking of reasons to be mean, my family is going to be the death of me.  My dad is an alcoholic and drug abuser, pills mostly, but he has been known to dabble in other illegal things before...shameful.  In the last week and a half, he has gone to being a bum at his girl friends house to homeless, kicked out of detox for having cigarettes and a complete disappointment to me.  My dad has always been a hero to me, and it literally shreds my heart to pieces to see this happen to such an amazing man.  I have dealt with addiction since I was born with him.  He was sober a few years of my childhood and he was the most amazing man alive, never let anyone suffer, and always did his best to help everyone who came in contact with him.  I pray every night for him to get the help he needs before it kills him...which at this rate won't be long...

Third- Saving the world.  A really great friend of mine, Courtney and  I have always shared the same passion to save the hungry, the homeless and the helpless.  Including dogs.  We share alot of interests actually. Well we are going to start making candles, selling them on etsy and ebay and using the profit to help the homeless.  I am stoked.  I cannot wait to get this rolling.  And I can not wait to see our hard work pay off eventually!

I promise it wont be this long before I write again..
tootles!