I love you to the moon and back.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

deep.

After watching this video I feel like writing my own "beautiful" story.

God made me, me. He chose what color eyes I would have, my parents and my gifts. I am reminded everyday that I look into my daughters eyes what a miracle life really is. God gave me life, he gave me the gift of being able to bring life into this world. There is nothing more beautiful to me than my daughter. She is so amazing. I am sure that is what my mom thought when she looked at me when I was 5 months old. I was brought into this world with a purpose. God gave me the ability to smile, laugh and enjoy his blessings.

I never want Lillian to grow up and think anyone is better than her or visa versa. I want her to treat everyone she meets with respect and love. I want her to be strong and stand up for herself. I want her to accept the things that society says may not be beautiful. I want her to stand up for the less fortunate and stand against bullying. I want her to love everything about herself like I love everything about her.

I may not be a size 2 with size 6 shoes, amazing hair and perfect skin. But to God I am the most perfect creation made. I may not be good at sports. I may not be a genius. I may not be creative. I may not be the best cook. I may get road rage, loose my temper and have panic attacks. I may get migraines that ruin plans but at the end of the day, I am me. I was created to help others, brighten someones day, and share my love.

I sleep with my feet hanging out of the covers, my head completly covered and 3 pillows. I pop my knuckles. I am random, clumsy, and flat out spacey. I can not spell to save my life and a victim of gullability. My dad is an alcoholic and I am afraid to drink alcohol. I have never consumed a single drug. I suffer from anxiety. I am Sarah Elizabeth Forbus Martin and I am BEAUTIFUL.

What makes you beautiful?

.

Friday, October 7, 2011

lesson learned-prune juice.

Prune juice is terrible, horrible, nasty and sticky. It WILL stain your whole house, your child and you. Dont be fooled by its ability to get one's bowels moving, it is not your friend.

it is brown like tar and sticky like malasses.

Constipation is terrible, for anyone of any size. But it has no place in my baby's tummy. The nurse suggested prune juice to help get things a movin. It definetly made our grandma baby poop her depends but for my habitual spitter this has by far been the messy-est ever. Do yourself a favor and use pear juice.

other than that we are terrific! my stinker is talking up a storm as we speak and rolling from back to belly! :)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

525600

525600 minutes, 8760 hours, 365 days, 1 year.

One year ago today I would have never imagined where we would be today.

3 years ago today I married my best friend. And on our 2nd wedding anniversary we had known we were going to have a baby for 1 day. On September 26th we found out I was pregnant. On September 27th Jake was laid off from his job. So in 24 hours our lives went from cloud nine to complete hell.

We went through so much in the last year its hard to grasp it all. Starting off our second year of marriage unemployeed and expecting isn't exactly ideal. Our home was in jeopardy, we thought that was bad until on March 18th I was put on bedrest and given the option that our precious baby girl could possibly have Trisomy 18. Thankfully she did not. I laid in bed for 2 months counting down the days and actually looking forward to doctor appointments. It gave me so much strength knowing I could see the person I was doing all the hard work for.

On May 14th 2011 our miracle Lillian was born due to a slight emergent c-section. But perfect in every way nonetheless. Thats when our luck look an awesome turn upward. I am so happy to report on this very day one year later we are stronger and more reliant on God than we were a year ago. He got us through some tough months and showed us that even though we were scared He knew all along that we would be just fine.

I am so blessed to be in this crazy battle of life with Jake. He is without a doubt my soulmate.

And our home is still ours.

Looking forward to what this next year brings us I am sure it will be lots of first for lily and some amazing laughs.

This ones to you God bc you made it all possible!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

"This is the wiggliest baby I have ever measured"

Lillian had her 4 month well check yesterday..and the nurse thought she was one active babe.

She moved around so much that we aren't completely positive on her length but it appeared to be about 22 inches! When Lillian arrived in the world she was 18.5 inches. Cannot believe how much she has grown in 4 months!

The weight on her growth chart says 11.5lbs however I am almost positive the scale said 10lbs 8oz...but then again I am not really sure if I am coming or going most days.

All in all she is one perfect baby! I am so blessed. The doctor told us to go ahead and start solids any time we wanted. And well I have been dying to use my baby bullet!

First on the menu...GREEN PEAS!

overall we wore more than we ate...but it was a success for the first time!

I have decided to make all of her food. For me it is a personal opinion but I am just really not fond of the store bought baby food. There is no right or wrong way, this is just my personal preference. I am so thankful for my best friend for purchasing the baby bullet for my birthday! Here is my first try at it!

This would be 9 "jars" of baby food it took me only 15 mins from start to finish to make this. That 15 minutes includes the 7 it took to steam the peas.

I am very pleased with how well it turned out!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I thought this was supposed to get easier.

I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss Lillian during the day. It has been even harder than when I first went back to work. I think it is because she is interacting so much now and I don't want to miss ANYTHING!!! She is my world. She is my heart. She is a piece of me that is detached and away from me a good portion of the day. I sleep for 8 hours, work for 9 hours and spend about 3 to 4 hours with Lillian. That is so out of whack. At the same time I want so much for lily. I want her to grow up in this house and that would not be possible if we didnt have two incomes. I physically hurt because I miss my child so much.

Lillian,
You are my everything. You and daddy are the very best things that have ever happened to me. I count my blessing every night and you my love are at the top. You are the perfect combination of daddy and I. You are perfect and God made you so beautiful. I pray for you everyday. I am so blessed God made ME YOUR mommmy. I'm a lucky gal.

Love you to the moon and back angel

Mommy

Monday, August 8, 2011

Lillian's birth story...from what I can remember

On Friday May 13th I had an appointment with Dr. Lattimore to check on Lily and see if we were for sure going to induce on the 16th at 37 weeks due to IUGR. Dr.L sent me to the high risk office for an amnio to check lung maturity. During the amnio they discovered Lily had already pooped in there. They decided to send me straight to the hospital for induction instead of waiting until Monday because they were afraid she was under distress which was kind of obvious since she was concidered IUGR. It was only my luck but that day there was something wrong with the Verizon phones in our area and I could not make calls to let anyone know. The only way I could communicate was via Blackberry Messanger. Thankfully my best friend had bbm so I was able to message her, she messaged my mom who met me at the hospital and Jake who finished up at work and FLEW to the hospital. Crazy day!

After lunch at 3pm they started cervadil and removed it at 3am the next morning! Started pitocin at 3am. It was a long, tough road but by 2pm I had had enough and NEEDED an epidural! I still had not dialated past a 2 by 7 and they decided it would be best to do a c-section I just wasnt dialating! It became a bit of an emergency when I spiked a fever and Lillian and my heart beats were way high. When they called it I FREAKED out. I tried to escape that bed even though I could not feel my legs. I was a mess!

They moment Lillian Elizabeth entered the world was the most amazing moment of my whole life. She was my daughter that I had fought so hard to keep safe and prayed non stop. She was here! I cried like a baby!

She is the most amazing thing and I am so blessed to be her mama!

here are a few pictures from Lillian's birth.