Fishies.

Lillian LOVES fishies. I really makes my heart smile. She smiles and "talks" to her "wishies" as they go across her ceiling! And today Jake, Kristen and I kept asking her if she wanted to take a bath and she smiled so big everytime we asked! So precious! I'll post more this evening with pictures of my growing babe!

My dreams for Lillian!

I think I'm pretty typical when I say I want her to be happy! I want a healthy happy babe! But I don't just want her to be happy I want her to make others happy (not in a people pleaser kind of way). I want her to brighten everyone's day that gets to be around her. I want her to care about people and their feelings. I don't want her to get caught up in the typical girl drama. I want her to care about people feelings. I want her to say please and thank you. I want her to use her brilliance to exceed. I want her to surround herself with good wholesome Godly people. I want her to know Jesus. Not just know about him. But KNOW him! I want and dream of so much for my daughter but most importantly I want her to love. I think everything else follows when you have love in your heart. I want her to love those who are less fortunate and do all she can to help them. I want her to love the ones who are very fortunate and never feel like she is less than because she doesn't have what they have and never feel envious. I want her to love animals and nature and take in all the small things in life. But most importantly i want her to love herself. I want her to take pride in everything she does. And stand for her beliefs! I don't want her to ever let a boy break her heart.

There is so much I want for my angel. I wanted her so bad for so long. And she is perfect. Daddy and I love you punkin!

Let me just say I love me some summertime. I am so blessed for Lillian to be a summer baby! She gets to wear the most adorable clothes. No socks to cover up her precious feet and sitting outside while daddy works! I'm sad to see fall coming but then again I do love me some autumn scents and burnt orange. Lillian is 11 weeks old now! Craziness! She is such a good baby. We are blessed beyond words. She has started smiling and "cooing" more and it is the most heavenly sound!! I just hope she knows what she means to me. She brightens each day and makes the extra tire around my stomach worth it! I love you sweet angel!!

honest effort

I am going to make an honest effort to update my blog at least weekly.  I want to keep my friends and family that are far and near updated on all things Martins.  My post baby weight lost, Lillian and our lives as a family of 5.

So Lillian is 10 weeks old now.  She is more amazing than I ever imagined.  I am completely in love with our daughter.  And I am even more in love with how in love Jake is with our princess.  God has blessed us in so many ways that it is hard to realize.

She is so strong.  Holds her head up so well! Starting to smile and coo and LOVES fish! She is now weighing in at 8lbs 7ozs! What a big girl! :)  I intend on making a separate post about my birth story!

I will leave you with pictures of Lily:

 Lillians first ever "tummy time"

 Lily and I Freedom Weekend Aloft 2011. Lily is 2 weeks old

My sweet family.

IUGR, bed rest, and the scare of my life.

Let me take you back to Friday March, 18th.

 Normal follow up appointment went highrisk dr bc last time i was there little Lillian was in the 15th Percentile.

J cant come due to work, so my mom comes along for support.

They do the ultrasound and I got the best picture of her smiling.  Everything was going to be ok.

I sit down with the dr afterwards and he proceeds to scare me to death.  Now Lillian is in the 3rd % and offically concidered IUGR (intrauterine growth restricted).  He had a horrible bedside manner.  He proceeds to tell us that because my fluid levels are normal and chromosone abdnormality is always a concern for IUGR babies to concider getting an amnio.  You cannot scare me the way that dr did and expect me not to say YES to the amnio.  So I get prepped while sobbing for the amnio, amnio is over he said everything went perfectly.  They hook me up to the monitors to make sure I don't start contracting, which looked amazing.  Dr comes back in and we talk alittle bit more, he tells me it will be monday when I can get the results....then he says this to me "at the end of the day, this doesnt affect me"  Que super freakout....

So for three agonizing days I have to stew over this.  And I have come to the conclusion my baby is just fine.  Sure she has IUGR and we will be meeting her sooner than expected but she has a perfect heart, kidneys, liver, smile...everything. The odds of her having T18 are so stinkin low that my 18 week screening came back negative.  She doesnt have any other "markers" for T18 other than being small. 

Today is Monday at 4:45 and they tell me today that my results will not be back until tomorrow...are you kidding me???? This is what misery feels like. 

I have such an amazing support group and people from South Carolina to Washington state praying for my little miracle.  I know everything is going to be fine, but I just need to hear "the results are negative" and I can actually relax while on bed rest.

Lillian, Hormones and saving the world

welcome to my random post!

First- Lillian.  So our sweet, precious, perfect little girl  is small.  I was sent to Dr.G (local high risk OB) about 2 weeks ago bc the regular OB (Dr.L) couldnt get a good picture of her spine because she is folded in there like a pretzal. Well after the appointment I am told she is measuring 10 days behind and in the 15th %. bummer.  I am told to eat as many cheeseburger and drink as many milk shakes as my heart desired to beefin her up!  Well fast forward a few days and I see Dr.L for my glucola...which I passed! wooohooo. He measures my belly....measured 24 weeks..baby girl should be measuring 27 weeks at the time. So I am told me keep shoveling in cheeseburgers and see them soon.  So needless to say..I have been worried about her size.  I just want her to be healthy.  She is so beautiful already!!

Second-Hormones. I have officially gotten to the point of no return..I have been crazy, irrational, hungry and snappy.  Honestly, I am alittle ashamed at the pregnant person I have become.  In the past week I have thrown a shoe at J and his friend.  I am yelled at Jake in the middle of the grocery store because I was very concerned that he was going to drop my cheese cake. I have ran a coworker into a sign at a local restaurant trying to get a better look at the amazing cakes spinning in the case as we were leaving. I have acted not very lady like. Really though, would you be chipper if you had not pooped in like 2 weeks. I think I have a few good reasons to be mean.  Speaking of reasons to be mean, my family is going to be the death of me.  My dad is an alcoholic and drug abuser, pills mostly, but he has been known to dabble in other illegal things before...shameful.  In the last week and a half, he has gone to being a bum at his girl friends house to homeless, kicked out of detox for having cigarettes and a complete disappointment to me.  My dad has always been a hero to me, and it literally shreds my heart to pieces to see this happen to such an amazing man.  I have dealt with addiction since I was born with him.  He was sober a few years of my childhood and he was the most amazing man alive, never let anyone suffer, and always did his best to help everyone who came in contact with him.  I pray every night for him to get the help he needs before it kills him...which at this rate won't be long...

Third- Saving the world.  A really great friend of mine, Courtney and  I have always shared the same passion to save the hungry, the homeless and the helpless.  Including dogs.  We share alot of interests actually. Well we are going to start making candles, selling them on etsy and ebay and using the profit to help the homeless.  I am stoked.  I cannot wait to get this rolling.  And I can not wait to see our hard work pay off eventually!

I promise it wont be this long before I write again..
tootles!

I am a blog failure.

I cannot believe I have let my blog go for this long! I am now in my 19th week and the days seem to be flying by.  So since I have blogged last we have discovered that baby M is a sweet baby GIRL! Her name is Lillian Elizabeth and I am so flippin excited to meet her THIS year.  I have not posted weekly belly pics like I said I was going to do, and for that I am ashamed.  I want more people to read my blog and my thoughts but how is that going to happen when I neglect to blog. 

We are expecting the snow storm of the century here in the south for the next couple of days...and I am alittle terrified. We stocked up on food and firewood  so hopefully we will be prepared.  J's parents live literally right up the road and they have gas so if the power goes out we will go over there and huddle by their gas logs!

Our good friends and neighbors brought home their baby boy today! He is soo stinkin handsome!  Mama and baby are doing good and I cannot wait for him and Lillian to be great friends!

On a slightly sadder note, My best friend and partner in crime, Jessica had a tough week with her baby girl (Chloe-6 months)  She had to have a cranial ultrasound that was alittle abnormal but baby girl is healthy and smiling up a storm! I absolutely love her children like they are mine.  Hunter her 2 yr old has been giving her trouble at bed time, I so isnt funny but it is at the same time.  He jumps on his bed and yells 'you are mean to me, let me up'! I mean thats pretty funny!

So Lily is a wiggle worm and a strong one at that...she was moving a kicking so much yesterday, J put his hand on my belly and she let out one good kick...and he felt it!! so amazing.

I will leave you with a few pictures:

Chloe and I at dinner the other night, we enjoyed winter squash...bleh!

Annd again with her shirt from yours truely.

This was 18 weeks! holy mama jama!